The only person who can save you is you…

It occured to today that the only person who can really save you is you … I mean yeah by all means definitely see a therapist or whatever you need at least once in your life if you feel you need to but at the end of the day it’s YOU who has to put some work in!

You can tell your family & friends how bad you feel or that your pretty fed up lately, but no one is ever really going to understand.

I’ve had my fare share of days where my parents just do not understand anything to do with anxiety or depression, or thinking I use my own struggles as a way out card, BELIEVE ME I do not! I wouldn’t wish the feelings I have delt with at times on anyone and yes I no people deal with it all differently, I’m not comparing mine to anyones but today I realised the only person that can help me is me.

I truly belive I was given this lockdown as a way of maybe coming home & sorting my head out before venturing off anywhere again.. that’s how I am looking at it anyway! Yeah I know we are coming out of it slowly but the world as I see it has definitely changed, maybe for good? Who knows!

My point is this morning I woke up, did the same stupid thing I do where I check my phone before I get up, scroll down Facebook, nothing really beneficial to my mental state of mind.

Then after a coffee I decided to do a workout for like half an hour, just a random one on YouTube, embarrassingly I had to stop it half way through cos I was so out of breath, I had a break then carried on. Then I did some yoga. Then in the afternoon I still didn’t feel great so as much as I didn’t want to I dragged myself off the damn couch and went for a fast walk, anxious thoughts started flooding through my mind, not really understanding why they were there and so on and THEN it decided to rain and I’d only got my hair done yesterday but you know what happened next? I yes that’s right ME, started RUNNING!! In the rain and I enjoyed it! I felt alive!

I felt amazingly better by the time I got home, I see why people get addicted to running, you really feel a sort adrenaline feeling from it! I didn’t run the whole way home but I still ran and I super proud of myself for doing it!

Then tonight I was starting to feel a bit I dunno meh? So I stuck my headphones in and went for a proper run around my block! I cannot tell you how different I feel from what an hour a go?

I guess what I’m trying to say is you can do anything how ever bad you feel!

” There has never been another you. With no effort on your part you were born to be something very special and set apart. What you are going to do in appreciation of that gift is a decision only you can make. ” Dan Zadra

RUNNING..

Recently I joined a couch 2 5k running group (virtual one of course!) to try and motivate myself to run more as I know how many benefits there are from it and how much it could help my anxiety and just my head in general.

Annoyingly though, I am struggling to get over my fear of running in day light. I feel like I have hit a bit of a mental block over it lately and just haven’t been able to push myself enough to do it. I will get over it.

I went for one this evening mainly cos it was getting dark and so I thought hey perfect less people about! I need to desperately get over this fear, no one even cares! People run, it is a normal thing to do and if someone judges how I run WHY DO I CARE!? but I feel so much better just for going out for one before… I just need to tell myself a little mantra or something before the run and BELIEVE in my bloody self! It is not that hard!

I’m typing this mainly as a rant at myself to get a grip, stop giving so many shits about what people think! you are you, you are great and you can do it!

I will leave updates on my progress! Tomorrow I plan to go out between 8 and 9 in the morning oooh and then even better I will be getting a hair cut in the afternoon! some normality at last! Tomorrow shall be a good day!!

Anyway, for now I am not following the couch 2 5k programme as I think it’s making me put more pressure on myself in some ways, seeing how people in the group are achieving their runs on the app, it does give me a boost but for now I’m just going to do my own thing and run at my own pace.

Belive in yourself!

The benefits of Yoga practice

Meditation, visualization, and focusing on breathing can help with letting go of worry and fear. The overall practice of yoga can elicit the relaxation response, allowing both the body and mind to gain a sense of calm and ease.”

Throughout lockdown I have found Yoga to be really helpful when I’ve been anxious.

I have been following Yoga with Adriene.. I just love listening to her. Her videos are super calming and peaceful.

The photo above was an up against the wall pose called Viparita Karani I did this morning, I really enjoyed it. I think it’s probably one of my favourite yoga poses, there is something wonderful to discover in every pose. But, honestly, sometimes I just don’t feel like bending forward or back. This one is great just to lie back and just breathe.

This pose also gives blood circulation a gentle boost toward the upper body and head, which creates a pleasant rebalancing after you have been standing or sitting for a long time. If you are stressed, fatigued, or jet-lagged, this pose is especially refreshing. 

Yoga can help all sorts like…

Relaxation…

  • The semi-supine aspect of the pose combined with controlled breathing leads to a slowing down within your body. This exhibits itself in a lowered heart rate which elicits a relaxation response and, in turn, helps lower anxiety, stress and insomnia.

. Soothes swollen or cramped feet and legs. …

. Relieves lower back tension. …

So basically, practicing the postures, breathing exercises and meditation makes you healthier in body, mind and spirit… yoga improves muscle tone, flexibility, strength and stamina.

Bears Den

They are without doubt one of my absolute favourite bands and I haven’t been able to stop listening to this song called Laurel Wreath, beautiful!

Music has helped me massively with my mental health, I probably wouldn’t survive or even still be here if it didn’t exist, I’m not even joking. I have such a wide taste too which is something I really love about myself.

When a song really hits me in any way I love to look up the lyrics and find out the meaning behind the song.

I was also introduced to them by my roommate when I was first working abroad in Portugal, another reason why the band means a lot to me, they always take me back to those times, especially their album Islands.

They say this song is about vulnerability and courage and the need for connection.

Is it the withering of tired leaves
All so neatly woven around that laurel wreath?
Or the collapsing of a history
Of victories getting lapped now
By all my towering defeats
To be a champion in your eyes
Someone that you might be proud to stand beside
But I bribed the judge and poisoned the field
Medals and trophies are only all that I could stealBut you found me in the morning, December in my eyes
Falling apart, bloodshot, outside Craigmaddie Hospital
As you fly by on the 93, what are the odds?
I don’t know, impossible
Got your call, I needed it more than I could let on to you
I could let on to anyone
Could hear it in the corners of all of my words
In the silence you heard all that’s unspokenYou don’t have to be lonely alone
I could be there in a heartbeat
Lonely alone
You don’t have to be lonely alone
I could be there in a heartbeat
Lonely aloneAs all my statues start crumbling
I don’t really know what it is that I’m offering
All I’ve got here is raining leaves
All once so neatly woven round that laurel wreathBut you found me in the morning, December in my eyes
Falling apart, bloodshot, outside Craigmaddie Hospital
As you fly by on the 93, what are the odds?
I don’t know, impossible
Got your call, I needed it more than I could let on to you
I could let on to anyone
Could hear it in the corners of all of my words
In the silence you heard all that’s unspokenYou don’t have to be lonely alone
I could be there in a heartbeat
Lonely alone
You don’t have to be lonely alone
I could be there in a heartbeat
Lonely alone, lonely aloneYou don’t have to be lonely alone
I could be there in a heartbeat
Lonely alone
You don’t have to be lonely alone
I could be there in a heartbeat
Lonely alone, lonely alone

I loveeeed this fan collaboration of the song too! Hit me right in the feels! So much emotion!

Continue reading “Bears Den”

Dealing with Intrusive Thoughts

Intrusive thoughts are normal, they are unwanted thoughts or images that can cause you to become obsessed or distressed.

Here are some ways you help yourself with them

– Recognize the thought

– Be aware of it without judging it

-Don’t fight with the thought, this will make it stronger

– Distance yourself

– Demind yourself your thought is nothing more than a thought

– It doesn’t define you

– Allow yourself some time

– Believe in yourself

Life as an introvert!

Yes I am an introvert, it’s hard in some situations, sometimes I love it, sometimes I kind of hate it… I hate coming across as shy to some people because if you put me in a room full of my best friends I can talk for hours on end.

My introverted mind is weird I’ll give you that, I hate making phone calls, booking appointments, video calls, walking into a room full of strangers, being the one to order a takeaway. Ordering my meal in a restaurant.

These things probably sound silly to a none introverted person but you know. This is me. I should embrace my weirdness!

I’m also very picky with who I give my energy to.

But then I suppose I am strange to be an introvert and want to venture away like I do, I still love to meet new people, do different things, sometimes it depends on the atmosphere, my mood ect. People have been surprised in the past that I have found the confidence to work abroad but once you do it once it gets easier and I like to challenge myself from time to time and put myself out my comfort zone, in my mind it’s like this, how do you grow if you just stay in the same place your whole life?

Yeah this lockdown has given me a bit of a set back but I plan to get back at it as soon as possible. I will do another section on how your mindset can change after working away from home and getting out of your home town. If your reading this and are thinking about doing it I can’t tell enough how much you should just do it!

It can be a real life changing experience!

I can’t wait for my next adventure!